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Archive for February, 2009

Did I ever tell you about the time I heard Bigfoot?

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

I’ve never really believed in the existence of intelligent life on other planets or the Loch Ness Monster and I’m not convinced that Sasquatch is running around picking berries and hiding out in the woods. I figure that if there is such a thing as Bigfeet running around, they probably would make like the Geico caveman and at least try and get their own TV show. Wouldn’t you watch a reality TV show about a family of Sasquatch hiding out from the rest of the world? What about having Bigfoot on Survivor, that’s for sure a million dollar winner right there. So while I’m not convinced that some giant hairy ape man is running around, I do know that while camping in the Sierra Nevada Mountains one time I heard…something.

There is a camping spot along Dinky Creek that we have frequented in the past. It is a quiet place to go spend a week in the woods away from civilization. Actually it is the kind of spot that if Bigfoot does exist he would probably want to live there. It is a beautiful place.

On this one particular night a few years ago (summer of 2004 I believe) we were up at that spot camping. My brother-in-law Dustin had his toy hauler camping trailer up there with his family. I took my boys up to join them for the weekend and there were various other family members there off and on throughout the week. We spent our days fishing, riding dirt bikes, taking the Jeep through the woods, hiking and relaxing around camp. We spent our evenings around the campfire joking, telling stories, laughing and just enjoying hanging out with family and friends.

One night after everyone else had gone to bed, Dustin, Kenny (Dustin’s dad) and I were sitting around the fire. We weren’t saying much, just a bit of idle chatter. Mostly we were enjoying the fire and the nice summer night. It was getting late, I’m not sure what time it was, but it was well past dark. Kenny had just told some joke or a funny story. I don’t remember what Kenny had been talking about, but I remember us laughing when we heard “the sound.”

Have you ever had all the joy and laughter of a moment suddenly choked off? Not sucked out of you, not gradually fade away, but abruptly stopped. It was as if “the sound” didn’t want to compete with other noise and magically destroyed all other sound waves instantly.

After hearing it, I looked over at Kenny and his eyes were big as saucers and he had a weird grin on his face. I’m guessing he had the laughter choked out of him like I did when we heard “the sound”. He looked at Dustin, then at me. “I’m going to bed” was all he said as he got up and disappeared into the camper. Dustin and I kicked some dirt on the fire and I went to my tent, but I didn’t sleep. I was way too nervous and more than a bit curious about that sound.

I can’t possibly describe the sound too you, but I’ll try. Close your eyes…wait you can’t read with your eyes closed, so finish reading then, then close your eyes and……

Imagine Bigfoot. Picture him walking around the woods in the middle of the night. Picture him being huge and hairy and pissed about something. Maybe Ms. Bigfoot made him go get some fish from the creek because she had a midnight craving for trout, maybe he forgot his butt wiping stick when he was out picking berries. Maybe he was just in a bad mood. Now imagine that he was walking around in the woods in the middle of the night, all big and hairy and pissed off AND he jams his big toe into a tree stump. He was already pissed about something and now he breaks his toe on an effing tree. Got the image in your head? Good, now imagine the sound that pissed off Sasquatch lets out when he stubs his toe in the middle of the night.

Did it scare you? Well, whatever strange sound your imagination conjured up is nothing like what we heard that night. That moment in time is one of the weirdest moments of my life (and those of you who know me understand that I’ve had some weird moments in my life.) I told you it is indescribable. What we heard was far more strange and interesting than anything my story could help you conjure up in your mind.

When I talk about this, most people think I’m crazy. Most people think I heard a bear or wolf or some other kind of animal. I guess if you know Kenny or Dustin you can ask them how they remember the sound and see if their recollection is the same as mine. Maybe I’m remembering it different than it actually happened. Let me be totally clear when I say I have never heard a sound like it. I’m not saying that what we heard was bigfoot. I’ve spent hours and hours searching bigfoot sites on the Internet, watching tv shows about bigfoot, etc. I’ve scoured the internet trying to find bear calls, or wild animal sounds so I could say, “we heard a (insert real animal here) that night”. As a kid I spent a lot of time in the woods camping. Nothing I’ve seen, heard, or read about matches the sound we heard that night. I found something close on an internet site claiming to be a recording of Sasquatch, but it wasn’t quite the same. Maybe it was a bad recording and maybe hearing the sound in the middle of the night in the woods somehow makes it seem scarier than it really is. I have found nothing that comes close to what I remember.

Looking back, I was frightened, but I was never really afraid that whatever made that noise was a threat. To be honest, the sound wasn’t one of rage. It was more of a frustrated expression of unexpected discomfort. Whatever made that sound and whatever the reason, I certainly didn’t want any part of it that night.

Note:  I never believed in Bigfoot, but after that night I’m open to the possibility that he’s chillin’ at Dinky Creek.�

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Did I ever tell you about the time some drunk guy thought my friend Rich was John Cusack?

Tuesday, February 10th, 2009

My friend Rich was on occasion mistaken for actor John Cusack.  Rich does look a little bit like him and some of his mannerisms are similar, although I often thought Rich did that on purpose in order to freak people out.

One particular time we were in San Angelo.  We were both stationed at Ft. Hood, TX but for some reason or another decided to spend the weekend in San Angelo.  The night in question we had gotten a ground level hotel room at some nondescript chain type hotel and were sitting in the room when there was a knock on the door.  I opened it.  Or maybe Rich did, I don’t really recall, but I do recall the drunk guy starting at us.  I don’t remember the exact wording of the converstation but it went something like this.

Drunk guy: (Slurred speech) “Hey”

Me: “Hey”

Drunk Guy: (Pointing in Rich’s direction) “Your that guy aren’t you”

Me: “Um, he’s a guy, but probably not the one your thinking of.”

Drunk Guy: “Yeah, froom tha one mobie” (yes I’m trying to type like the drunk guy might have sounded…its all speculation though)

He hold’s his imaginary radio up in the air and starts belting out “In Your Eyes”.  Rich and I decide to go with it and mess with this drunk dude.  Again, I have to point out that what transpires next isn’t anything like the actual events that took place, but rather a tribute from my heart as to the spirit of the moment in question.

Me (grabbing for the guys arms): “Dude…don’t do that.  We don’t want anyone to know we are here.”

Drunk guy: “Oh…I won’t say anything…get it.” (drunken guy laughs)

Me:  “Yeah funny…if he gives you an autograph will you leave?”

Drunk guy: “sure…sweet.” (takes a pull from his Pabst Blue Ribbon.)

Rich:  (Signing his real name to a napkin) “Here you go, man.  Nice to meet you.”

Drunk guy: (Salutes, shakes Rich’s hand) “Your secret is save with me.”

He turns to walk away and yells to his friend.

Drunk guy: “Lloyd Dobler just signed my mapkin…yohoo!!!”

We closed the door and laughed about it.  I do remember telling Rich that he did sometime resemble John Cusack and we should try to get free drinks by him pretending to be Mr. Cusack.  Of course Rich would never have been truly comfortable lying to get free stuff, although secretly I think he would have gotten a kick out of trying.

Note: If you have a friend who resembles a famous person, never miss an opportunity to mess with drunk guys.  It is super fun even if 15 years later you can’t remember much of what happened.

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